BACK WITH STUPID PEOPLE VIDEOS…

wow – it has been a LONG time since I both laughed and felt tragically sorry for an individual.  Enter Lil J.  This bitch is hardcore yo, she doesn’t take shit from no one – to prove it, she put it all over You Tube and My Space.  Yet another example of how harsh the trailer park can be.  Lil J is, unfortunately, a VERY misguided albino, white trash, frontin, skinny white chick who cannot quite pronounce all the words she wishes to use.  If you don’t like this video, you can hit me up on my mother fuckin myspace, alright, out….

 

NEW KIDS BACK ON THE BLOCK

I am speechless – my worst dreams have come true – back when it was only a rumour and gossip that these misfits may get back together and tour the world in their ill fitting sweatshirts and oh so tragic rat-tails comes the news that it is official.  Get out your pink tee shirts and NKOTB dolls and sleeping bags – dates have yet to be announced, but it is official, they are back.  Exscuse me while I go puke in my own mouth and contemplate the existence of this futile world that will allow this to happen.  Maybe we will get lucky and they will tour libraries or school gymnasiums….honestly….fuck….

EARTH HOUR – thank christ its over…I can play Wii again.

 

Ok – I get it, Earth Hour, one hour out of our lives to save the earth.  When are we going to stop and think that Earth Hour is a HUGE gimmick and we need something better.  Perhaps this is just the beginning of something larger, perhaps we are slowly bringing all of you into what you should have been aware of long ago, perhaps most of you don’t give a shit.  For one hour we all shut our lights out (well, I actually got drunk and forgot and played Wii until I could no longer move my right arm – hey, at least I am honest).  Most of the world has to live in darkness when the sun goes down everyday.  Why are we only giving an hour once a year?  Is it true that we cannot live without electricity – wrong!  We should turn this into once a month, than week, than day only to realize how much we could all do on a daily basis to help this earth.  Fans on in the bathroom – running water when taking a shit, lights turned on for “ambiance”  its all a little retarded if you ask me.  I know that in that hour we saved enough electricity to power up a small Somalian County and their communal volkswagen van, but we need more.  We all need to do our own personal Earth Hour EVERYDAY.  Sit at your desk or on your couch right now and look around at what you currently could do without.  I just turned the extra light off on my desk – do the same.  And then go home and do it all over again…check it out – its not about an hour, once a year, its about a lifestyle.

COME ONE COME ALL – DISORDERS FOR EVERYONE!!!

I could not write something on this GD blog after a months hiatus unless it was good.  This is.  In a world where we are fascinated with disorders and diseases comes a whole new brand of things that we can label ourselves.  It used to be that anorexia and bulemia were the only two known eating disorders (sorry obesity was always apparent), and we all whispered when our best friend was showing tendencies of this in high school, but now we have a group of idiots putting together a whole other list of things.  Try DRUNKOREXIC – ok, sounds appealing, sounds like a few people we all know.  They are saying that these are people who forgo food calories in order to drink and still take in their reccommended daily calories – problem?  I see none.  These are responsible human beings who do NOT want to get fat and therefore are taking the proper precautions in order not to do so.  Another good one is ORTHOREXIA for all you health nuts – these are people who are WAY too concerned with exactly what goes in their mouth.  I think its a little bit sick when we live in a world where we cannot just call people drunks or vegan tree hugging crunchy granola’s, but rather tack REXIA on the end of everything and call it a disorder.  What about LABELREXIA – all you idiots out there who want to throw a label at the rest of us so we can feel a part of something.  god, idiots….  For more on this story check out Now Magazine  they are really good at hating everything, right here in Toronto – unless you are poor or feeding abandoned babies, soy milk out of a goat bladder, than they might like you, but the rest of us are fucked.

YOU’RE GAY? I’D RATHER DIE….

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Ashamed to be Canadian this week.  Not because this poster won the Organ Donation Poster Contest – although it does make me a little unsettled that these children clearly need legs.  OK – SERIOUS…Health Canada has just administered the beginnings of a policy that will dis-allow”high risk groups” AKA, gay men from being organ donors.  Haha – I know, for some reason I think I should grow an afro, wear long hipster bell bottoms and plaster pastel colored flowers all over my bedroom.  Oh wait – that was the seventies.  Times have evolved, but apparently our thinking has not.  The reason?  Men who sleep with other men have AIDS – didn’t you know?  At least that is what Health Canada is saying.  A case of homophobia – most think so.  However, it has also been brought to the front that the government is trying to save their ass in case any tainted organ does get donated to a staunch Catholic who believe that the gates of hell are riddled with homosexual shells (shells, because gays don’t have souls – mere shells where God forgot to put something important).  I think this is Gods fault – he should have laid off the whiskey that week.  This has NEVER happened in Canada (tainted organ donation), so not sure why all of a sudden it is such a big deal.  It did happen in Chicago, but mistakes happen.  The donor died quickly and they did not take proper precautions to test the organ and a large mistake was made.  The stats:  4240 people are waiting for an organ in Canada – 243 will die according to the stats from 2007.  From the gay community – 9% of men have HIV – so they have applied simple math to say that this will result in 9% of the 243 dying an agonizing death by having their blood poisoned – FUCKED UP.  The more educated and aware we become about AIDS – the less fear is in the air.  But put bans like this in place and we go back to a widespread irrationality surrounding AIDS and homosexuals which will leave people burning at the stake.  I am sort of able to wrap my head around the basic idea behind this from a legal stand-point- but I wonder why, then, anyone who has a history of drug use is not considered in the same category.  Needle loving crack whore?  Sure, stick her kidney in.  Gay man in a committed relationship for 24 years – not thanks – I might turn gay and get AIDS and start liking the color pink.  HAHA.  Love it.  This may sound vulgar – but I would like to watch you personally die if you deny the organ of someone who is perfectly suited to donate – after it has been tested, of course, and deemed safe -based on a religion, race or sexuality because people like you really don’t deserve to live – this I have said FOREVER – when are we going to realize it already?  What about people who were born in Africa and have decided to make the Melting Pot of Canada their home?  AIDS population is much higher over there – we should probably ban them too -blood transfusion in the 80’s? Sorry – banned.  Anyone in contact with a monkey?  Banned. I am changing my organ donation check marks – I called the Ministry of Health today to find out how to do it and all I had to do was throw out my organ donation card and let close family and friends know of my choices.  Next time I get my license re-newed, I will also have to update that.  But I am going to look more into it to see if I can make that change quicker.  I want to support these people in their plight and hopefully kill a few ignorant suit wearing pigs along the way.  What would happen if 250 000 Canadians all of a sudden changed their donation card?  This is how we get things done my friends, through silent, peaceful action – USA – take a note.  

MEN – PENISES DOWN…

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Some disturbing news coming today for all of you guys who think, eat and breathe with your cocks and the thought of populating the ever dissident world with your un-intelligent offspring.  Researchers at the University of Newcastle have successfuly created a female sperm.  I KNOW – me quitting smoking and keeping my guys swimming means NOTHING – nothing…  From the embryonic stem cells of woman – scientists have created a sperm.  Stem cell research – a beautiful thing.  The Jesus Camp won’t like this too much – because now lesbian couples could potentially have children together by impregnating one woman with the sperm of another, without having to get the male equivalent of sperm donated from some crusty old man…However, where does that leave the gays?  Hmmm……anyways, do not fret too much yet because they have not been able to actually impregnate a female egg with this new invention due to an incorrect amount of genetic material.  Can a woman impregnate herself?  Fucked…that brings a whole new version of imbred – but from the looks of it, we are not far off…wonder what God has to say about this – me thinks he not likey so much….

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK – TO REUNITE?

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I certainly hope not.  Please, please, please do NOT let this happen.  I don’t know why I hate this idea so much, but I do – ALOT.  I was on the young-ish cusp of this phenomenom, but for the love of all things sacred do NOT let this happen.  This would be worse than that train wreck Paula Abdul strutting her coked out ass, uni-nostril face all over the Super Bowl half-time show – which is also rumoured to be in talks – what the hell won’t FOX produce?  As for NKOTB – there is something unsettling about this for me, their look is kind of frightening and that was when they were young – they make me a little angry in a way that makes me want to start small fires.  The Spice Girls are out on tour and doing RIDICULOUSLY well, but they were fun (Spice World), they had a message (Girl Power), they stood for something and they remained (although for some, rather futively) in the industry for the years to follow.  They did not fall off a huge stardom cliff and die a horrific horrific celebrity status death.  NKOTB did.  NKTOB is OVER – please, sweet lord let it be over.  If I witness my sister digging out her old dolls with the rat tails and the t shirts and the sleeping bag and lining up to buy tickets, our society has come to a whole new level of sick.  Luckily, right now, these are just rumours, but activity on the NKOTB website has sparked recent interest – and People magazine did not help that by publishing these rumours.  I say we all agree to pretend this never happened in the first place – it was the late eighties, early nineties, we all made mistakes.  I think what is going on here is that they are feeling the crowd out – seeing what our response is to this before making any sort of decisions – the sad part is that the boys are sitting at home waiting for something like this to come around – because, seriously….what have they done since?  Except Donnie, he did the whole crazy lunatic thing in the Sixth Sense and Joey MacIntyre did a couple uninspiring seasons on Dancing With The Stars…that should sum it up – its over. Period.  Enough Said.